The shots in the dark from empty guns are never heard by anyone.

I feel myself slipping today. The one person I can't face being alone with is myself. And I hate that. Because I love myself, I do, but at the same time I really can't stand myself. Some days, like today, I can't stand being in my own skin.

The worst part of it is, I can't run from myself. Everywhere I go, there I am. I don't want things to be this way but I don't know how to change. This is part of the reason why I was so afraid to quit - without marijuana I have to face myself and all of my insecurities, doubts, fears, self-hatred. And I want to love myself, I really do. I want to be able to look in the mirror and honestly say that I accept the person staring back at me.

But then again who knows, this could just be withdrawal. I guess this is why people with a predisposition towards depression should avoid self-medicating. I need to keep telling myself, and this too shall pass.